I’m sick of people saying, “OMG I’m SO scared of snakes!!” like it’s something weird to be scared of snakes. Who isn’t scared of snakes? Besides, it’s stupid anyway because how many snakes has the average person seen outside of captivity? Probably close to one, or none. Almost every snake I’ve ever seen was behind a secure glass wall at the Indianapolis zoo, and it’s too hard to be scared because by the time you get to the snake exhibit you’ve spent about 15 minutes marvelling at how freakin’ cute the meerkats are.
I’ll tell you what’s really scary – chainsaws.
When I told Adrian I didn’t really think snakes and spiders were all that scary, but I had a phobia of chainsaws, he said that was ridiculous and there was no such thing as a phobia for chainsaws because it’s not an irrational fear.
I said it is irrational because I can’t even go near one. Every time I go into a garage and I see a chainsaw sitting there all I can think about is “What if someone accidentally hits the table, the saw falls on the floor and by chance hits the ‘on’ button, then it’s swinging around the floor due to the momentum of the moving chain and I’m jumping around like it’s a morbid Skip-it game??”
And I don’t care who you are, the end of haunted houses when the chainsaw comes out is terrifying. I know the entire way through the haunted house/forest/cornfield/junkyard/etc that chainsaw is coming out. I still scream and run as fast as I can to the exit. I just know that someday someone will forget to take the chain off the chainsaw and little Timmy will end up decapitated.
Just to prove his point Adrian decided to Google “What is the fear of Chainsaws called?” On Yahoo! Answers someone had already asked the question, because like I said, chainsaws are terrifying. Frank N. was the top commenter and said “common sense.” Screw you, Frank N.
I strongly disagree with the fact that people have created a phobia they can cite for their fear of spiders, but a phobia name for chainsaws is outlawed because it’s “common sense,” or “self-preservation.” There are phobias for pretty much everything it seems, so I don’t think it would be a problem to add chainsaw phobia to the list. Chainsaw phobia sounds a whole lot cooler than a phobia of bananas.
The only time a chainsaw hasn’t frightened me was in The Simpsons movie, and that scene made me literally LOL. Watch it here!
My other top fears are:
– Alligators and crocs (not the shoe)
Do you have “phobias” or just plain fears if they aren’t allowed to be called phobias? Please share. I won’t laugh at you and tell you your fear is not allowed to be a phobia.
*I have no way of knowing where the original pictures for the movie or the Skip-it kid came from. Sorry.