Pour me in a cup. I’m lava.

There has been a year-long debate in the Mitchell residence about whether or not people melt in lava. What happened was this. I told Adrian about my fear of lava (Which he again says it’s not a fear or phobia as it’s completely understandable. I disagree, because who spends their spare time thinking about lava other than those who are really afraid of it, like me? Checkmate, Adrian.)

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Anyway, I was talking about how if you jump into a sea of gently but fiercely flowing lava you will melt into the lava and start flowing as if you are lava.

Adrian says this is ridiculous because you would just burn. Then I counter-attacked with the fact that if I went into a pool of lava you’d be able to scoop me out in a pale and pour me into another container. He says you would be picking up your ash just as you would when you are cremated. I say lava is a totally different, all-consuming thing. You turn into lava. I believe that when you die in lava, you are at one with lava. There’s no room for dust or ash.

When I saw that movie Volcano when I was younger the scene where the guy jumps into lava and slowly melts straight down really affected me. I never got over seeing that and ever since I’ve been terrified of lava. I don’t like to think about the word ‘magma’ either. It gives me the heebie jeebies.

I’m sure someone will pipe up and say, “Duh. Of course you don’t turn into lava,” but that’s not very fun is it? I’m not religious, so things like this are my religion. I choose to believe something ridiculous because it’s funny. And scary. For the love of all that’s holy, please don’t take that away from me.

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15 Comments

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15 responses to “Pour me in a cup. I’m lava.

  1. Kathy Kuhlman

    I learn something new about you everyday.

  2. Rhi

    I think it is a valid fear/phobia. I mean… I would not like to fall into/be covered with/drink or in any other way come into contact with lava, purely because I don’t like to die/be hurt. But I’ve never once thought that I don’t like lava specifically. I’ve never even thought about it. Therefore you are the proud owner of a legitimate fear of lava 🙂 xx

  3. Robin Wildman

    I would join Adrian in the good fight of burning vs. melting, but mostly I’m just pleased that you guys are STILL fighting about this. I like that arguments don’t ever end in your household. Much like volcanoes, they lie dormant for a while but then erupt all over again. (See what I did there?)

  4. Depending on the temperature, you’d be burned into ash (with some leftover hard parts like bones, if the lava isn’t hot enough) and gases. The gases would bubble up into the atmosphere, while the ash, mostly carbon compounds with some minerals, would dissolve into the rest of the fluid, being composed of largely the same stuff.

    In other words, you’re both correct.

  5. Hayley

    When you said about the guy who dies in lava in the film volcano, i thought i was the only one who was frightened by that because i saw it when i was very young too, and it really scared me i ended up having nightmares about that film for weeks, to think of any volcano makes me shake and i start sweating, so i think it is a phobia.

  6. Pingback: Sleeping-in-coffin-position phobia | lemony snippet

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