There has been a year-long debate in the Mitchell residence about whether or not people melt in lava. What happened was this. I told Adrian about my fear of lava (Which he again says it’s not a fear or phobia as it’s completely understandable. I disagree, because who spends their spare time thinking about lava other than those who are really afraid of it, like me? Checkmate, Adrian.)
Anyway, I was talking about how if you jump into a sea of gently but fiercely flowing lava you will melt into the lava and start flowing as if you are lava.
Adrian says this is ridiculous because you would just burn. Then I counter-attacked with the fact that if I went into a pool of lava you’d be able to scoop me out in a pale and pour me into another container. He says you would be picking up your ash just as you would when you are cremated. I say lava is a totally different, all-consuming thing. You turn into lava. I believe that when you die in lava, you are at one with lava. There’s no room for dust or ash.
When I saw that movie Volcano when I was younger the scene where the guy jumps into lava and slowly melts straight down really affected me. I never got over seeing that and ever since I’ve been terrified of lava. I don’t like to think about the word ‘magma’ either. It gives me the heebie jeebies.
I’m sure someone will pipe up and say, “Duh. Of course you don’t turn into lava,” but that’s not very fun is it? I’m not religious, so things like this are my religion. I choose to believe something ridiculous because it’s funny. And scary. For the love of all that’s holy, please don’t take that away from me.