Tag Archives: web

I’m a fashionable, yet hairy, single Muslim gal

Every now and then I’ll have a period of a couple months where I’ll receive the same ad, everywhere I go. One time Mr. Web thought I was extremely hairy(??!), so he kept offering me mass hair removal products.

I can’t figure out what I’ve said or searched for this time that would be causing me to have nothing but single Muslim dating sites advertised to me for weeks on end. Weeks, I say! I asked a girl at my work who actually is Muslim if she gets these ads, and no, she doesn’t. It’s just me. All day, every day.




(Btw, totally listen to that Kooks song. In fact, I’ll link to it at the bottom of this post so you can listen NOW!)

On occasion I’ll get an ad for Banana Republic skirts I’ve already purchased. I kind of feel like if it’s all-knowing enough to know specifically which skirts I viewed, it should know enough to know that I clicked “add to shopping bag,” and know not to show them to me again and again. And again.

The only thing it gets consistently correct is that I love Back to the Future. For years I’ve had ads trying to sell me BTTF merchandise.

So, according to the Web I’m a fashionable single Muslim girl who loves Back to the Future and is extremely hairy.

As promised:

I love ads. Anyone else have any mystery ads appearing?

8 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Wow. The things I never thought I’d learn about Adrian Grenier

I always thought Adrian Grenier was kind of cute.

Then I found out that his wang smells bad and he has a hairy butt.  How did I find this out?

Sometimes I become immature. I was getting ready to put the computer on Adrian’s (my husband) side of the bed when I decided to play a little dumb trick I sometimes do.  I left one tab on Google open and entered the words “Adrian smells …” but Google started predicting before I finished typing and came up with tons of websites.

The top three included sites about:

– Satanism

– Butternut squash cous cous

– How “apparently Adrian Grenier’s penis does not smell good.”

I had a little laugh, then decided to finish my dumb joke.

I entered “Adrian smells like a hairy butthole” into the search tab, not expecting anything to come up. That way Adrian would go to search something and find my little love letter.

But then this came up as the top search and I didn’t even press search:

“Adrian Grenier Has a Hairy Ass”

I love Google.

 

***UPDATE: Since posting this, if you Google “Adrian smells like a hairy butthole,” my blog is the number one website! Cool, huh?

4 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Is it Possible to Murder Your Twitter Bird?

For a long time I didn’t think people actually used Twitter for anything other than saying they had a Twitter.

It seemed like over night every company had a “Follow us on Twitter!” Naturally I assumed they had Twitter only because they wanted to try to seem cool so they all jumped on the bandwagon and signed up, but what could they possibly have to say that anyone cared about? Even so, I did the same thing. I signed up for a Twitter and began vigorously updating. That lasted for about 5 posts.

My last update:

wondering if I will die from Swine Flu next year. 12:13 AM Jul 30th, 2009 via web

I didn’t die, but this God-awful thing happened:

Due to severe neglect, my Twitter bird starved to death and his eyes were tweeted out by other hungry Twitter birds.

For the past year I have been receiving e-mails telling me that various porn stars/sex sites/random spam is now following me, so that made me feel popular, but not popular enough to log in again. I tortured my Twitter bird with the possibility of a log-in, but it happened a year too late.

Psych! I did torture him by not logging in for a year, but the picture you see above is purely fictitious. My bird saved all of my details despite my not having logged in for more than a year! Everyone is safe and I can resume tweeting.

Twitter even retained a checklist of things I still need to do, including connecting my phone to my account so I can update from anywhere! Ha. Good luck connecting Alcatel. I can hardly get Alcatel to stay turned on for too many hours in a row before it decides it wants to turn off on its own accord. Some people might call that a crap phone. I call it artificial intelligence. He’s had enough so he turns off. Being a cell phone is hard work, you know, with answering all the calls and texts that no one makes to my phone. He gets tired.

I might give Twitter a third try, but I think having a cell phone to update is pretty much essential to Twitterific posts so my bird my “die” again.

So … follow me on Twitter? www.twitter.com/sarakuhlman

3 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized