Tag Archives: iPhone

Things that will never happen to me because I have a crap phone.

Sometimes I see people with a fancy-pants iPhone and I think, “That could be me. I have a good job. There’s really no good reason why I’m still using a phone that cost 99 pence.”

My phone:

But then I see the people with a fancy-pants iPhone cringe and have a mini freak-out when their beloved phone falls out of their hand or pocket and lands on the rocky cement.

Sometimes I see people complaining because they lost their phone. Hundreds of dollars down the toilet.

Speaking of toilets, you know that guy who supposedly got his hand stuck in a train toilet trying to get his phone out? That will never be  me. If my phone falls down a toilet I can say “good riddance,” and then go straight to Carphone Warehouse and buy another one.

One time I lost my phone at the movies and no one stole it. I ran back to the theater and asked the lady if anyone had returned a phone. She asked me what it looked like so I said, “It’s small and crappy.” She was like, “Here you go!” and handed it straight over. What a B.

Sometimes I hear people talk about how their phone broke a day outside of warranty.

Warranty? What warranty? My phone is self-healing. It used to be inflicted with this disease that would cause it to die if it got hit. For example, if I tossed my phone on the bed it would shut off. I got kind of annoyed, but then it healed. Now I can hit it and it doesn’t turn off. I can’t explain this phenomenon, but I’m gonna roll with it.

I’ve now had this phone for more than a year and it’s survived against all odds. It’s been dropped and beaten and it doesn’t even have a scratch or dent.

I think it’s time to break for a song:

I’m a survivor (what),
I’m not gonna give up (what),
I’m not gon’ stop (what),
I’m gonna work harder (what),
I’m a survivor (what),
I’m gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin’ (what),
I’m a survivor (what),
I’m not gonna give up (what),
I’m not gon’ stop (what),
I’m gonna work harder (what),
I’m a survivor (what),
I’m gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin’ (what).

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iPhone vs myPhone

The new iPhone has just been released and people are chattering about it, blah, blah, whatever. I recently got a new phone and every time someone mentions their stupid iPhone, I pipe up with details on my new phone. Meet Alcatel:

He boasts a stunning 99 pence price tag (not even a full pound as tax is included, and for you Americans that’s about $1.60) and comes with headphones for FM radio. You heard me correctly – 99p for a cell phone. It’s pay as you go, so I’m saving even more money by not having a contract. Since no one ever calls me and I don’t really have anyone to call, I rarely need to top up.

During a discussion at work about cell phones, one of my managers (not Rob because he’s got the fancy iPhone; see below) was talking about how he doesn’t understand why people waste tons of money and time waiting in line for a stupid phone. I got really excited because it was a perfect segue for me to introduce them to Alcatel.

He was impressed. I believe his direct words were “Sara, I’m proud of you. You’re keeping it real.”

Another one of my other managers picked up my phone and said: “Is this real?”

Rob said he was slightly jealous of Alcatel because his iPhone doesn’t have FM radio. He wasn’t joking or making fun of me either. I could clearly see that Alcatel with it’s built in FM radio and free headphones had planted little seeds of doubt on his major purchase.

If you aren’t enticed by the extra hundreds of pounds/dollars in your pocket, FM radio, free headphones, games, color screen, no need for cell phone insurance, etc., then at the very least it is a fabulous conversation starter.

Alcatel vs iPhone:

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