Tag Archives: anger

I hate Photoshop.

I want to be a little kid again. If your toy sucks you can break it, or just throw it in the toy trunk and never play with it again. When you’re an adult your “toys” cost hundreds or thousands of dollars, so breaking them would feel worse than the original anger. Besides, it’s too much work to go outside and get a large stick to stab through your computer.

Instead, you have to sit there while a very dense ball of anger builds inside you, kind of like a neutron star of hate.

Photoshop is a butthole. It’s capable of stunning things, yet all I could do was produce this piece of crap after an hour’s work trying to create a new header for my little blog.

Maybe I don’t hate Photoshop. Maybe I just hate myself for never learning this before now.

Why, oh, why can’t it be the future already so I can just download information straight into my brain?

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How to get angry

You remember the scene in Planes, Trains and Automobiles where Steve Martin has an F-bomb party with the car rental agent because they gave him the key to a car that wasn’t there?

Well, that’s exactly how I’ve felt every time I’ve ever spent the night freezing in a crappy sleeping bag and then tried to re-pack it in its impossibly small sack the next morning. Except there’s no one to yell at it. It’s just me and the bag.

Even back when I was 7, trying to re-pack my Beauty and the Beast sleeping bag was a nightmare that involved thrashing around violently and trying desperately to stuff that f*%^ing bag in it’s pack. Now, I don’t say the F word. But if there were ever a time to, it’s re-packing a sleeping bag.

Who invented the case that was too small for the bag?? I get that when you are backpacking you need to get things as small and compact as possible. However, the average person just wants a sleeping bag for the purpose of throwing it in the car trunk once a year for a leisurely weekend camping trip. If I needed a professional sleeping bag for a professional backpacking trip, I’d buy one.

Most of the time my bags end up in a jumbled mess at the bottom of the closet because I can’t be bothered. When Adrian was packing for a camping trip it was a nightmare. Look at this. It’s ridiculous, but necessary:

Recipe for anger:

Ingredients:

One sleeping bag in its case.

Step one: Open sleeping bag.

Step two: Freeze all night long in your PoS bag that’s supposed to keep you warm in up to -50 degree F weather, but doesn’t keep you warm in mid 50s weather.

Step three: Try  to put the sleeping bag back in its original case. Even without letting your anger about how crappy the bag is take over your thoughts, you’ll be hard-pressed to keep your cool at this step.

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