Meatless “chili with meat”

I made an excellent vegan chili con carne and told my parents about it on Facebook only to have my snob-o-saurus rex sister pipe up and say, “You do know con carne means ‘with meat,’ right?”

Karen thinks she’s cool because she studied abroad in Mexico, learning Spanish and playing with reptiles.

What else should I call it? Chili con bean?

It’s hard to imagine chili with no cheese or sour cream, but I guessed I probably wouldn’t miss it in the slightest if I made a fresh batch of simple guacamole. I was sooo right. The fresh guacamole was a much stronger, fresher taste than gooey sour cream and it took only a couple minutes to make. Definitely worth it.

Chili Con Bean

Serves 4

– 1 can of red kidney beans

– 1 can of black beans

– 1 can/box chopped tomatoes

– 1 medium onion, red or white

– 1 or 2 cloves of garlic

– 1/2 cup of water

– 3 tbsp red wine vinegar

– 2 tsp brown sugar

– salt

– pepper

– 1 tbsp cumin (or to taste. I normally just dump a bunch in)

– 1 tbsp mild or hot chili powder (same as above, I normally just shake until it looks like roughly a tablespoon)

– enough rice for 4 servings. I used Camargue red rice, and it was really nice because it kind of blended in with the chili, but any would work.

For the guacamole

– 2 ripe avocados

– small handful of red onion

– sea salt

– pepper

– tbsp of lime juice

– tbsp of lemon juice

Heat the tomatoes until they are simmering and add all the spices. In the meantime, rinse the beans, chop the onion and garlic and add everything to the pan. Add the water.

Let simmer for 30 minutes, checking occasionally to make sure it doesn’t get too pasty. I didn’t want a soupy chili, so I added only enough water every now and then to make sure it didn’t get dry.

At around 20 minutes you can try tasting it to see if it needs any other spices. I don’t like to try it before then because I always find the tomatoes are still too sour and haven’t sweetened yet.

The guacamole is really simple. Cut them open and scoop everything (minus the pit of course) into a medium sized bowl. Add the red onion, salt, pepper, lemon and lime juices and mash until you have your desired consistency.

After you try it it’s perfectly acceptable to say “great success!” in a Borat voice.

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