Yellow & Black

I’m no fashionista, but I do have a couple rules by which I abide when dressing myself and these are generally dictated by things I don’t want to look like.

1) Dork. Self explanatory.

2) Another living creature. For example, an animal, insect, reptile, etc. This brings me to my main fashion rule that outstands any current fashion trend and has been my steadfast rule since I started dressing myself:

Never wear yellow and black together because you will invariably look like a walking bumble bee.

Yellow dress with a black belt? Bumble bee.

Yellow shirt with black pants? Bumble bee.

See?

It doesn’t matter which way you spin it. In my mind yellow and black as a fashion unit is synonymous with bee. Anytime I see someone violating my steadfast rule, I automatically think, “She looks like a bee. Honey, bumble, I don’t know, but definitely a bee.”

And who knows what creatures in the wild think. What would they have thought if I’d been wearing any yellow with this dress? I could have been attacked by anti-bee creatures.

I honestly don’t know why retailers make mock leopard or snake skin apparel. I can’t think of a situation in which I would ever think, “That seems like a good idea. I think I’ll leave the house in that today.”

I’d also never wear a fur coat because I wouldn’t want anyone to look at me and think, “grizzly,” or something like that. It’s likely that someone else can’t help thinking of bears anytime they see someone in a fur coat, much the same as I automatically think “bumble bee” anytime I see someone in yellow and black.

My yellow & black theory has been validated because my sister thinks exactly the same thing.  So if you were thinking, “Omg, no one thinks that except you,” think again.

If you follow my fashion rules you may not be popular, but you certainly won’t be a walking disaster. Good luck!

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Yellow & Black

  1. SandySays1

    I agree about the bee thing. You certainly don’t want to have someone look at you and worry about getting stung. Particularly if he’s 6″4″ tall, built like a Greek god, and resembles Keanu Reeves (pick your fav MS). You might also want to avoid wearing anything that has hot-pink and chartreuse poka-dots on a purple background. My human insists on tying such a scarf around my neck. It makes me want call “Ralph” every time I wear it.”

  2. You sound like a very intelligent and funny dog! 🙂

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