A reworking of our “special relationship” with England

£972.

That’s the price I have to pay for the “right” to stay in the UK starting in October of this year. I already paid $1,000 to be able to come here and work the past two years.

Now I’m going to have to pay another roughly $1,500 for Indefinite Leave to Remain. I don’t want to stay here indefinitely. Can’t I just pay a couple hundred and stay here for another couple years? I promise I’ll leave.

Yesterday at work I said there should be an open border policy between the UK and the US and some people agreed with me. I think it would work out fine, especially since they are always trying to be buddy buddy with us and claiming we have a special relationship, and they consume our culture like it’s going out of style.

Well, I can tell you from personal experience – it doesn’t feel very special when I’m lumped in with all the other people who are from countries who don’t sport special-relationship-with-the-UK status.

This is a grass roots movement to bring back the special relationship. Things that would satisfy me:

1) No visa charges for Americans or Brits.

2) Express lane for Americans at Heathrow and Gatwick airports. Yeah, that’s right. I said it. If we’re so “special” I want an express lane.

An Englishman at work smugly said we should have thought about all this back in 1776.

Here’s what I have to say to you, Englishman:

Sound familiar? HA. For those of you who don’t know, that’s their national anthem, which we have apparently deleted all the words and made it a song about how great America is.

Here’s a view of the Potomac from George Washington’s porch at Mount Vernon on a perfect summer day:

Not really sure how that’s relevant, but I felt like including something of George’s on here.

Anyway, if my conditions aren’t met I vote for severing the “special relationship” altogether due to the English people’s attitude. They might need us, but we don’t need them!

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “A reworking of our “special relationship” with England

  1. Kathy Kuhlman

    It’s a money making scheme!!! Just like the 6 month quarantine of animals brought into the UK!

  2. I’m sorry you have had to pay all that money, where does it go??? What do ‘they’ do with it?
    I am sure you don’t feel special alongside all the other foreigners that are here, but you are! No other accent but American provides a feeling of excitement amongst the British people (yes, I do speak for ALL the Brits!). We love to meet Americans and almost always break out of the ridiculous English mould of not speaking to strangers when we hear an American voice – we assume all people from the USA are friendly – I haven’t been disappointed yet, and it gives us permission to avoid the usual ridiculous social rules and just talk. We do not feel like that about any other nation, although Aussies are always fascinating. Would you consider sharing the express lane with Australians?
    Open border policy would be great – but must also extend to pets.

  3. My solution? It’s time for us to take our Revolution to the other side of the pond.

    But seriously, free trade ought to mean much easier movement across national borders. If the concern is cultural and not economic, though, the problem is that we Americans are too much like the Roundheads of the English Civil War. We’re a painful reminder of something that England tried and didn’t like.

  4. Robin Wildman

    I sort of need the Brits. But solely for Doctor Who.

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