Me Kill Animal With Stick And Eat Animal.

This is what I packed for lunch yesterday.

At the end of the day I was sick with hunger.

I packed pumpkin whole grain rice pudding with apples, yogurt (to make it creamy), walnuts and a small drizzle of honey for breakfast, hummus and pitas for a snack (pitas are at work), and a bowl of chili with lots of veg and beef. Oh, and an iced coffee. And Marmite rice cakes in my drawer at work.

People always have all these suggestions and say that I’m not eating enough at meals or eating the right things. Let me tell you what, it doesn’t matter how much I eat at meals. I’ll be hungry or starting on hungry in 2 hours, maybe sooner. My metabolism is a furnace. I got that saying from my dad. What I eat matters a little. A McDonald’s breakfast will fill me up for roughly an hour. The whole grain rice breakfast or granola will keep the hunger away for about two hours.

Some people are just hungry! I’ve known other people like me, who have to eat every couple hours, and they also suffer from people not believing them or making fun of the amount of food they shovel in.

People will say, “Oh, hush! You don’t need to worry. You’re thin!” But it’s not fun. I do love food (a lot), but I always have to be thinking about where my next meal is coming from. Kind of like these guys:

That’s me with the arrow. I’m going to kill some small game. I leave the skinnin’ to the men. Ain’t no grizzly gonna slow me down.

I have to take an actual backpack to work most days because no lunch box will fit all my stuff, and even if there were a Jethro lunch box it certainly wouldn’t fit in my work’s British fridge with no freezer. No freezer!

My mom used to call me Jethro because a measly peanut butter sandwich never filled me up at school. I needed a full packed lunch and often had to buy snacks during the day to keep up with my raging appetite.

I didn’t really know who Jethro was, so in case you also don’t know he was a character on the show The Beverly Hillbillies.

According to Wikipedia:

Another running gag is that Jethro was known as the “six foot stomach” for his ability to eat: in one episode he ate a jetliner’s entire supply of steaks; in another episode Jethro tried to set himself up as a Hollywood agent for cousin “Bessie”-with a fee of 10,000 bananas for Bessie and 1,000 bananas for Jethro. Jed once mentioned that Jethro was the only baby he knew born with a full set of teeth “just like a beaver”.

That’s me. Just like a beaver.

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