How *not* to break up with someone

Dear High School Self,

If you really must break up with someone by e-mail, you should probably ensure he is not on vacation in a place where he doesn’t have internet access and likely won’t read it for a few days.

When he comes back to school Monday and acts like nothing is wrong, rather than thinking, “Wow, he is taking this so well. He’s so mature,” assume instead he has not read the e-mail and is going to be really mad when he reads it two days later and finds out everyone but him knew he was dumped.

Better yet, don’t dump anyone over e-mail. Or text. Boys don’t like to date girls for almost two years and then receive a Dear John text.

Don’t be a jerk.

Yours truly,

Future Self



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5 responses to “How *not* to break up with someone

  1. Kim Pugliano

    I’m so glad they didn’t have cell phones or email when I was in high-school back in the dark age of the Commodore 128 and land lines. I think it’s MUCH more fun to be dumped by your boyfriend’s friends when they laugh while telling you how much fun it was hanging out with “Tom” and “Jane” this weekend.

    Good times.

  2. I didn’t date much in high school because I went to an extremely religious school that monitored every thing you did both in and outside of school but I had a boyfriend who moved to California over winter break without notice. I didn’t know why I couldn’t reach him and found out from gossip around school that he packed up and moved. Big blow to my self-esteem right there, haha.
    I guess it was good though, last I heard he was blowing up cars in California getting arrested and stuff.

  3. Lol, yeah. . ah. the high school days.

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