Mochas, Loch Ness, and an Englishman

An Englishman at my work named Kevin, during his routine trip to the water fountain by my desk and subsequent routine inquiry about my day, asked me what I was drinking.

“That looks like gravy,” he said.

“No, it’s a mocha.”

“A mocha?? What’s that??” he said with some kind of weird grin on his face like he was trying to judge me.

I didn’t know what was going on, but I thought: Wow.  I like Kevin, but this guy is not with it. How can he not know what a mocha is?? I mean, there are a lot of things about popular culture that I don’t know [everything], but I know what a mocha is.

“A mocha??” Then he started laughing some more. He said something about a “mocka,” like “mock + a,” and then it dawned on me. I remembered that these Brits say mocka and not mocha.

He went to the bathroom and I carried on with my work. A couple minutes later he comes back to my desk, pulls up a chair and steals my notebook and pen.

“Loch Ness,” he writes on the paper. “Say that. Loch … moch.”

Obviously this mocha business had been bothering him the whole time he was in the bathroom.

So I was like “Yeah, yeah, loch, moch, I get it, but still. It sounds ridiculous.”

Then he said, no, the American way is ridiculous because we say it like it’s spelled “mowka.”

“To mow. Mowca,” he wrote.


Another cool English fact about this Englishman:

When I first met Kevin and we had the getting-acquainted conversation, I asked where he was from.

Kevin’s a pretty funny guy, so he said Windsor and I was super impressed because that is also where the Queen lives. Later in the conversation it transpired that he is actually from Slough, of The Office fame, which is very close to Windsor and still cool in its own right, but it’s no Windsor. I laughed, but then I thought it was cool because now I can say, “Hey! I know someone who lived in the town where The Office is based!” The real David Brent office, not that American Office rip-off crap.

Btw, he is “down” with being made famous by my amazing blog, and he requested the below illustration to represent him:

Picture from National Geographic … obviously.


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