Copulate, Cohabitate, or Gruesomely Murder: A Game

One day you are going to find yourself in a situation where you and a friend are bored, you’ve exhausted all conversational possibilities and neither of you have books to make the silence seem less awkward.

Yep, I drew that. I’m glad you liked it.

Don’t fret, because if for some odd reason you don’t know about this evil, immature, yet highly entertaining game, you are about to and it will change your boring life.

I have a board game called “Marry, Date, or Dump,” but that’s the politically correct version, and anyway, who carries around a board game?

A long time ago one of my friends named three mutual friends and asked which one I would f**k, marry, and kill.

Now, I don’t like questions like this because all I can think of are the circumstances that lead up to this and potential consequences of any hasty decisions.

I immediately asked, “How does the person have to die? How many times do I have to copulate with the chosen person? Is it a sexless cohabitation or is it a full-on marriage?”

Answers:

– You have to push the person off a cliff and watch them be impaled by jagged rocks at the bottom. That way the blood is on your hands only figuratively.

– You copulate just once in a setting of your choosing.

– Sexless marriage with no option for divorce. ‘Til death do you part.

With these questions answered, it’s much easier to play the game. That is, until you get three real stinkers for options, like Fat Bastard, Edward Scissorhands, and Bigfoot. 

To make sure you get the most out of this game, go to Facebook and see with which friend you have the most mutual friends. For example, with my sister I have 56 friends in common so we can go for hours. We also both worked as photographers at the same Toyota so the selection of pervy old fat men in leather jackets is rife. Let me tell you, that is a tough one. If you are playing celebrity version, what do you do if you are handed three Zac Efron look-alikes??

This picture is from Zac’s Rolling Stone cover photoshoot, and you can buy it to hang on your wall at home, so you don’t have to keep coming to my blog to look at it. However, if you want to come to my blog every day to look at Zac, you are more than welcome. I put him on here to make you happy.

So, play the game, stare at Zac a little, and just hope no one chooses you as the person to throw off a cliff.

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