Don’t Take an Open Bag of Salami in a Cab

The “you learn something every day” thing I learned today was don’t pack your lunch, forget to bring an airtight container and then transport the open meat back home in a cab with closed windows.

As soon as I got to work I realized my error. Somehow I was going to have to store this meat after I opened it to assemble my sub. You know me, and there was no way I was about to sacrifice a bunch of meat that I paid good money for on account of not having a storage container. So it was value meat and it cost only a pound, but that’s not the point. The point is that pound could be spread over nearly four sandwiches, so my savings would be immense. I had to keep that meat.

I tossed the salami and ham in my lunch bag, which conveniently doesn’t have a lid as it’s just a little bag with handles, and I got straight in the cab after work. As soon as I got in there I got a big whiff of salami. Every time the cab turned a corner the salami smell would waft past me, so I’m sure the driver was getting hit with it as well. I tried to smash the bag down with my purse to stifle the stench, but it wouldn’t work.

I just saw a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where Larry talks about how he puts people in his BlackBerry by their first name and an identifying feature. For example, he meets a woman named Denise who is in a wheelchair, so in his BlackBerry she is called “Denise Handicapped.”

I strongly fear that since this cab company has a contract with the company I work for and tonight was my first night that I might become known as Sara Salami. I had anxiety the entire 30 minute ride home because all the windows were up and the heat of the car was releasing all the meaty vapors.

After all that I’ve been through tonight I want to say, “Yes, I should have ditched the salami.” But then my mind wanders back to the immense savings on four sandwiches and I’m back to square one. So did I learn anything? Perhaps I did. Plan ahead better.

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