Life: A Warshin’ Stick And A Netbook

Today I had an experience that led me to believe for a short second that in the future I might be one of those obese people who lives life from the safety of the couch. Bathing, eating, shopping, etc.

I have been seriously considering purchasing the book One Day, and when I saw a positive review of it on a blog I sometimes read, I immediately went to Amazon.co.uk and had the book purchased within one minute. The fact that I went straight there isn’t what’s alarming. It’s that it was so easy and it felt so good! Amazon is brilliant because they store your credit card information, so the annoying part of having to whip your card out, type in 20 numbers, type in your address, blah blah – those days are over. (I’m sure they’ve been over for a long time, but I’m new to repeat online shopping)

All I have to do is put it in my “basket” then a couple clicks later and it’s in transit. Almost. On August 4 it will be in transit.

This is the fifth time I’ve done this in the past couple months. As I clicked to order today, that’s when I got my vision. I was so happy because I thought, “Wow, I didn’t have to fight any crowds and smell stinky people (only really a problem in London). I got a deal on a brand new book. Why do I ever leave the house to buy anything??”

Recent Amazon.co.uk purchases:

Benjamin Franklin: An American Life, by Walter Isaacson

Einstein, also by Isaacson

Alone in Berlin, by Hans Fallada (USA title is Every Man Dies Alone)

Lonely Planet Berlin travel guide

One Day, by David Nicholls

I think this is like a modern day shopping network. I could never understand why people buy things off the shopping network. The clothes are hideous, the homeware is ugly, and everything else is grossly overpriced.

I’ll continue online shopping for now, but let’s hope I can stop before I get to the point where I’m on the couch asking Adrian for my warshin’ stick and my netbook. For you English people who don’t know, some Southern-influenced (to use a politically correct term) Americans say “warsh” instead of “wash.”

I say netbook because that’s what I have now, a little computer for a little person, although I imagine if I gained 300 pounds I might need a full-blown laptop. I don’t currently like laptops because they burn my legs off and they make me very uncomfortable because of the weight.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Life: A Warshin’ Stick And A Netbook

  1. Eric Lester

    With Amazon Prime ($70 a year) I get “free” two day shipping on every order. I live close enough to a distribution warehouse that this means if I order early afternoon I receive my delivery less than 24 hours later!

    Of course, I have a Nook now, so all my books are purchased through Barnes and Noble and delivered instantly.

  2. Pingback: I Wish My Job Title Was “Mollusc Curator” « RAM (random access memory)

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