A Cool Kid I Met In Kindergarten

When I was in kindergarten I met a kid who was “cool.” He had taken a permanent marker and written cuss words all over his jean shorts.

I immediately thought, “Wow … this kid is so cool. I would be too scared to ever try something like that!”

After I spent a minute thinking about this I realized it was a little scary and then I became skeptical of this kid’s coolness. 

I thought it was scary because if I had even thought about trying something like that and then considered going out in public I’d probably have concave butt cheeks today from the spanking I would have received then. So that led me to think, “What kind of parents does this boy have?!?”

It’s amazing (not really) how 20 more years of life experience will change the way you view the world and people.

If I saw a man today who had written cuss words in permanent marker all over his jean shorts I would immediately think: “Psychopath.”

No amount of subsequent thought would lead to a lesser conclusion. Perhaps I’d take away the “path,” but the “psycho” would likely remain. Is there a difference? Probably not technically, but it does seem to take down the insult a notch.

I don’t know what made me recall this kid, but I really wish I knew his name so I could look him up on Facebook and ask  him if he is still writing cuss words on his pants.

Facebook and MySpace (5 years ago) lead to all kinds of random connections, good and bad.

A couple years ago this kid I knew in seventh grade either added me on MySpace or we somehow got in contact, I can’t remember. I told him I didn’t remember much about him, only that one day when I was being a greasy pimple geek with braces* either by myself or with one of my greasy pimple geek friends during lunchtime, he came up to me and said, “Hey Sara, guess what?”

I got really excited because he was “popular” and kind of cute, plus he was on my basketball team so I figured maybe he had risen above middle school culture and decided it was OK to talk to a geek and maybe we could be friends.

Then he said, “You’re ugly!!” and all of his friends started laughing and they walked off.

So yeah, I told him how I remembered this and he said he didn’t remember saying that, and he can’t see why he would have said it because I “look really hot now.” Thanks.

*To be sure on my geek status, when I first got braces just after I turned 12, they gave me a shirt that said “BRACES UNIVERSITY: Straight Teeth Honor Society.” I still have it. I should put it back in circulation in my wardrobe because it’s so geeky it’s cool. The other choice of shirt at the orthodontist was a white T-shirt that simply said “braces,” but it was written in pink cursive (as the Brits would say: joined up writing), and it had confetti flying all around it.

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