The Etymology of Easter and Risen

First let me start off by saying that I didn’t know it was Easter a few weeks ago. I thought it was just a four day weekend coming up until I asked why we had it off. Then I got confused and started asking questions about the man they call Jesus and the etymology of the word Easter, because it has come to mean bunnies and chocolate, which is fine by me and people like Glenn Close.

Basically Easter is the day when Jesus H. Christ rose from the dead. Rose…from the dead. I think this is where George Romero got his idea for Night of the Living Dead. He was sitting in Sunday school and started thinking “Wow, that’s a pretty neat concept. What if this really did happen?”

Over the Easter “holiday” all I saw were church signs crying out “HE IS RISEN!!!” Doesn’t anyone who puts up these signs think “Talk about grammatically incorrect. Maybe someone should say something. Maybe I should say something.” I would. I wouldn’t be caught dead or risen writing “is risen” on a sign.

Who says it’s too late to change the Bible? Back in the day people were always making stuff up and throwing it in there. No one can deny that, seeing as how there are so many inconsistencies and contradictions.

In the end I didn’t bother to research what Easter means because I didn’t care enough. The whole celebration of a dead/not dead person doesn’t make sense anyway and I rather enjoy all the free chocolate, so why waste the time? Instead, I have come up with a more fun, modern and creative approach for expression on Church signs around the world:

Jesus: Back

Jesus 2.0

Dawn of the Jesus

Jesus: Die Harder

Jesus Redux

Jesus: The Director’s Cut

Jesus: Return of the Deity

Jesus: The Deity Strikes Back

Jesus: A New Hope

Jesus Reloaded

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